Sebastian Telfair was arrested in Brooklyn Saturday night with marijuana, a semi-automatic firearm, three loaded handguns, and enough ammunition to eliminate ISIS as a world threat.

Rock meet bottom.

Obviously, there is a lot to unpack here. This is the third incident involving Bassy carrying around loaded guns like they are going out of style. I’d almost go as far as to say, Sebastian likes handguns more than I like Thanksgiving leftovers at 2 a.m. Almost.

Telfair was released from jail Sunday morning on $75,000 bail. Early reports state the judge went easy on him because, “It doesn’t matter how many guns Sebastian has, he could never make a shot”. Of course I’m kidding, but only kinda kidding…Bassy did only shoot 39% from the field in his seven NBA seasons.

But seriously, it’s time to hold up that mirror of reality. How many more $75,000 bonds does this guy have left in the bank?

It feels like just last week I was watching his Through the Fire documentary for the 83rd time. Rooting from my couch with a white headband, daydreaming about how he was going to one day, torch the league. I remember witnessing him break the all-time New York high school scoring record and winning an unprecedented, three-straight state championships. I reminisce on the time he wowed Madison Square Garden at the McDonalds All-American game in front of Jay-Z, Derek Jeter, and Spike Lee who sat courtside.

At one time, Sebastian had the high school hype equivalent to LeBron James. This kid had otherworldly talent on a basketball court. He was a tenacious competitor who played with no fear despite his 6’0 frame. He was undeniably charming, with a billion dollar smile that could melt Antarctica. He quite figuratively became the core of the Big Apple.

His highlights from Rucker Park were insane. Out there he was no-headband, Bassy. At the playground, sweat would cascade down his gloriously bald head like icing on a cinnamon bun. If you got too close, his handles would vaporize you, as if you were standing too close to an explosion at a natural gas refinery.

Instead of becoming a perennial all-star in the association, Telfair perpetually swam in a lake of mediocrity. He struggled to shoot the ball with any consistency and it seemed as though each of his seven seasons in the league were specifically designated as the Chinese year of no defense.

Sebastian was always a warrior. And growing up/still living in Coney Island you sort of have to be, to make it out alive.

Although his image has taken an unfortunate turn, I’ll remember Bassy for the folk hero he was to the six feet and under hoop heads who’s fancy passing, we could never quite live up to. I’ll remember his epic battles with Darius Washington Jr. I’ll remember the joy I felt on draft night, when he was selected 14th overall by the Portland Trailblazers.

But most of all I’ll remember him as the ultimate locker room guy:


Heroes are remembered, LEGENDS never die.